We, as humans, are social creatures. Although we do enjoy solitude and quiet, most of us enjoy having the company of another human. Unless we are forced into a social situation like work or school, meeting people is a bit awkward for the majority of people. First dates are similarly bad because we are basically interviewing and being interviewed at the same time by someone we may potentially spend the rest of our life with. I’m here to step up your first date game by giving you 7 tips from a guy’s perspective.
1. Let The Guy Make The Plans
In this forward, progressive thinking society, it’s perfectly understandable for a woman to feel empowered and take the lead in a lot of situations. But in this case, let us lay the foundation for the date. If you are going on a date with a guy who doesn’t care enough to organize a good first date, that may not be a guy you want to date.
2. Ask Us Questions About Ourselves
Not to say we want to open up the deepest recesses of our mind to you, but if you dominate the conversation, you may not get a chance to know us. You should look for a great listener, but should be more interested in finding a better conversationalist. We may just shock you sometimes about how well we can communicate, or we may just be a big lummox and as interesting as a tree stump. But you’ll never find out unless you ask us questions us as opposed to telling us about you too much.
3. Keep The Conversations Light And Fun
Honestly, at this early stage of a potential relationship, we’re just trying to get to know you at the surface level. Keep the conversation very playful but give us a sense of who you are. Tell us about your job, your background, favorite music, television shows you enjoy, and your family if you’re comfortable talking about it. Not to say you’ll scare a guy away, but let’s just save those conversations about more serious issues later if there are following dates. If anything, sweep the crazy under the rug for a few more dates then just let it all out at once at an appropriate time.
4. Don’t Be Afraid To Eat
If a sit down meal is on the agenda for the date, don’t be timid when looking at the menu. We want you to be honest, and if you eat like a lumberjack the rest of the time, but this time you decide that eating like a hummingbird is the best route, you should rethink your dating strategy. Nothing is more comforting than a woman who is confident with herself, and one way to display that is show us you love to eat. If that ribeye with the garlic mash is calling your name, answer that call.
5. Make An Attempt For The Bill
Don’t expect us to pick up the bill even though we always want to grab the bill and pay the hell out of that bill. But on the first date, it is absolutely awesome if you reach for the bill or offer to split the tab (with an actual attempt to pay, don’t just do it as an act). We’ll most likely get our way, but your offer goes a long way with us if you have an actual interest in us.
6. Keep The Phone Out Of Sight
There’s no turn off like a woman being there physically, but choosing to be out of touch with the moment. If you are seriously not happy with the date or the person, by all means, go ahead and do whatever you do on your phone. But if you actually like us and possibly want a second date, keep the phone hidden. When you pull your phone out (unless it’s to show us pictures or something else you want to share with us) we will feel like you are uninterested with what’s going on, or you have something else you would rather tend to. It’s plain rude. The texts (unless it’s some kind of emergency) can remain un-responded to and the social media can go un-checked.
7. Be Honest
I’m not saying lets talk about that time you may have murdered someone, but if this is immediately not working for you, let us know. Yah let’s play the get to know each other game, but if you know off the bat there won’t be a second date or you just aren’t feeling the guy at all, be upfront. Don’t try and mooch a meal off of someone when you’re just planning on leading them on. Even if you’re trying hard to find a connection and the end of the date comes, say it then. You may not be into that guy, but you can help improve him for the girl who may potentially be into him. Don’t crush the guy and nitpick every nuance of the date you didn’t like, but be honest and real. He may not be your Mr. Right, but you can easily help him be a better Mr. Right for someone else.
Your first date can be the initial spark to a life-long relationship you may or may not have hoped for, or it could be one night of your life that you won’t get back (I’m a romantic so hopefully not) but treat the date as an investment you’ve been researching. There’s a whole list of expectations on what to do on a first date, however if you’re on a date with a gentleman, (hopefully) there won’t be any expectations to meet.
As far as the expectation of a first kiss, treat it like the money and he as the potential investment.
Are you planning on doing more research before putting any money in, or do you want to be careless and potentially risk losing your money on a bad investment?