We’ve all been there. It was a friend’s birthday, you got turnt up on a Tuesday. It didn’t end well for you. Now you’re at work. Someone decided today would be a good day to switch to decaf coffee and the lady in the cubicle next to you is playing Disney music on her shitty computer speakers.
Before you tell her to bippity boppity back the f*&$ up out of your life, take a deep breath and check out this hangover guide for girls who ain’t got time for that.
It’s the first rule of hangovers. Grabbing a Smart Water is even better, since it has electrolytes added. Alcohol is a dieuretic, so it’s important to replace all the fluids you got rid of right before you were telling all of the other drunk girls in the bathroom how pretty they are.
On the morning after, take some Advil, not Tylenol. Your liver is already working overtime and Tylenol will just add to that. I mean really, your liver is being a total bro right now, so be courteous. Also: Eat something first. You don’t want straight Advil coming back up all on its own.
If you’re nauseous, drink some gripe water. You can find it in the baby aisle at your local drugstore. It tastes like ginger and fennel, so maybe not the first thing you really want to be tasting when you feel like death, but if you can manage it for the first three minutes, it works like a freaking magic potion. They could sell it in a vial with a $500 price tag and I would sell every pair of shoes I have to get some when I’m riding the hangover train.
Since your liver is already working to break down the alcohol, your blood sugar will be low. Eating something high in carbs will bring your blood sugar back up, in turn making you feel less like a bag of you know what.
For the love of God get some coffee
Caffeine goes a long way in helping that headache out the door– that’s why main ingredient in a lot of migraine medicines is caffeine. Find a coffee shop stat! At the very least, grab a Redbull.
For next time:
Try and drink a glass of water between each alcoholic beverage you drink. 90% of being hungover is dehydration.
Set an alarm and take 800 mg of Advil about an hour before you have to actually get out of bed, then go back to sleep. You’ll be less likely to feel like a zombie on your way out the door.
Eat a big meal beforehand– preferably one that has carbs, fat, and some sort of meat or protein. This will jump start your metabolism and help your body process the alcohol more quickly.
Have any more hangover remedies? Let us know in the comments!